– Can you cry under water?
Crying usually involves breathing. As such, if you can breathe underwater you can cry.
– How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Assassination usually involves political or other public figures.
– Why do you have to “put your two cents in”.. But it’s only a “penny for your thoughts”? Where’s that extra penny going to?
Two different idioms. They don’t have to be compatible with each other.
– Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
Because square boxes are easier to stack and store.
– What disease did cured ham actually have?
It didn’t. Look up “cure” in the dictionary.
– How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Expertise in one area does not necessarily translate to another.,
– Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up like every two hours?
Because it’s a poorly thought-out idiom.
Why are you IN a movie, but you’re ON TV?
Good question. I have no idea.
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Because what you’re paying for is the different perspective.
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They’re going to see you naked anyway
To put the patients at ease.
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Because it’s a stupid song?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?
No
If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?
Because if he fixed the hole in the boat, then the series would be over.
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!
Because Goofy is an anthropomorphic dog (much like Mickey is an anthropomorphic mouse) while Pluto is a true dog.
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If a vegetarian eats only vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
No
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Yes. A tune composed by Mozart when he was only five.
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
I didn’t. I already knew it.
Why do they call it an asteroid when it’s outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it’s in your butt?
You got me on this one….
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Right. And did you ever notice that if you pinch your own cheek it doesn’t hurt but if someone else does it to you it does hurt?
The Wolf