after reading all four pages at once, I have an intresting observation, what (and why) do people get all worked up about tznius? Talk about increading shabbos and kashrus, shmiras haloshon, everybody is all for it tznius people get upset. Where the yetzer hara is strongest there lies the most potential for kedusha.
Our faliure in tznius is that the main focus is on inches, whic are important, but the idea that tznius is a focus on the neshma and giving ti more importance than the guf is oftern not stated. The other factor which turns a lot of girls off is the all or nothing attitude, they are told if they violate a school tznius rule: “you are not a bas melach”. This all or nothing atitude than fosters a feeling, well if I am not a bas melach than I can wear/do what ever I want. Instead of being negitive we have to build on the posotive, when we see a girl dressed tzniusdig praise her compliment her tell her what a bas melach she looks like.
Another big mistake that parents/schools make is they focus on chumras and style and not on halacha. For example the schools get all upset if a girls wears a long long skirt- till the floor. Personally I think if its not tight its more tzanua and secondly that is not halacha! in halacha one may not wear a short skirt. a long loose fitting skirt might not be the style of a rebbitzen but it is not against halacha and there for should not be assured. When schools start adding on chumars (if you can call it that) the girls end up not keeping the halacha itself. I could give a lot of examples were schools demand the girls keep to a certain style which has no basis in halacha. I have had a lot of experience dealing with girls who have been “tramatized” by school overdoing it.
The ikar is to teach hashkafa and halacha together in home and in school. and not impose our chumras (or style) on others.