W.O.W., I feel your hot tears, believe me I do. Your son is pushing your buttons. He may be saying these things because he means it, or he may be saying these things because he is feeling you out about them. The piercing is bad but the tattoo is even worse.
On these things you can say “I know that you feel the choice is up to you, and I know that you feel that you can do whatever you want and you probably don’t really care how much we get hurt right now in the process, but I am doing my best to hold it together. If you choose to go that route I can’t promise you that I will not only have a broken heart you will break it into a million pieces and I don’t know if I would ever be able to recover. Don’t forget what a tattoo symbolizes in this generation to Jews!!! The Nazis tattooed numbers on to the arms of the Jews to keep track of them as if they were animals. Whenever WE see tattoos that is what WE are reminded of. It has no beauty or sense of meaning to us other than how the most evil of evil people humiliated, degraded, experimented on, tortured and annihilated our families, $6,000,0000 jews plus any other people that they felt didn’t live up to perfection which included gays, handicapped, gypsies, and others.”
W.O.W. don’t make it about the Torah and what it says about our bodies being on loan and not damaging it. Give him something he can relate to and think about. As far as sending him off to school. I highly doubt at this point it has anything to do with learning and he certainly doesn’t care to be in Yeshiva. The idea is to get away with this group of boys, so there really is no point. What is the point in having the school call you constantly that he did this, that and the other thing. Better that the boys should go without him.
Has he been asking you about it, or is it something he spoke to you about earlier?