Hi write or wrong
Ive read alot of the posts and PG Hashem should give you and your family the koach to get through this. There is an unbelievable programme in EY http://www.kesherisrael.com/staff . i would highly recommend it. My other recommendation is to send your son on a holiday. even go with him. frum communities in EY and even USA are very intense and extremely polarised. Either your part of a community or you’re not. Im from South Africa and would highly recommend spending time on holiday here. The communities are not polarised and there are varying levels of yiddishkeit, from totally irreligious (but proudly Jewish) to chareidi and yeshivish. Maybe something that your son could relate to? There is a real emisdikke approach to yiddishkeit here and a real ba’al teshuva movement – with people who are searching for the emis. if youre interested i could help
Besuros tovos