does it matter when an independant person or adult goes off the derech? Yes. Immensely.
You’ve heard the stress made in kiruv how every single person matters and counts? Kal v’chomer for not losing a single person. Every person is a world. A single person turned off, disillusioned (tho i hesitate to use that term, because its no illusion), hurt, uninspired, lost, that’s a loss of a world. For himself. And for his future. And for his generations to come. A single piece missing ruins the entire puzzle. That void cannot be filled. Yes, it does matter. For a parent of a teen, its so hard because they are still responsible for their child, they see the child’s progress and failure and pain, their actions have to be weighed to help and not hurt, hold but not hinder. With an adult, no the family cannot directly impact him, but that loss is a chasm that won’t just fill. If he has family, the pain is just as intense, though the distance, the not seeing the changes, might make it less constant. But it hurts so deeply to know somewhere a mistake was made, somewhere a connection lost, and perhaps the chance to help overlooked. I think about it constantly. I cry for the adults lost, not just the children. Perhaps more, because the hope of it just being a rebellious stage or a push for independance, that with maturity or comprehension, they’ll see where their emotions took front stage, that hope is so weak with an adult. The pain or disenchantment or lack of understanding is much more cemented. Its much much harder to change in adulthood, its a fact. And the realization that the loss of someone as we knew them is something we have to work on accepting as a forever, to come to terms with it while never ever giving up hope, is immensely hard. Their life, their future, their chiyus, their simcha, their having something solid to call their base… What will be? Where will they turn?
It matters to his family? Yes. But most of all it matters for him, for his sake.
I’ve gotten lost in a rant, a cry, pain, a loss for words… Because i miss my brother, the brother i don’t feel i know anymore… I don’t know how much sense that made at all… Please, someone articulate, speak up!