I’m sorry that you feel that I am an “extremist”. I would never view myself that way and I hope I don’t come across that way.
I do try to be as open-minded as possible and I have nothing against those who wish to be more stringent, even if I don’t necessarily agree with them. I also try to be dan l’kaf zechut when people don’t say Good Shabbos to me and assume that they belong to this group who chooses to “put extra guards on themselves.” However, I do think that concern for others’ feelings should override these extra guards. After all, they are EXTRA guards, and it is a direct mitzva not to embarrass someone. Let’s say, hypothetically, that I were a ba’alat teshuva and did not have the background I have. In that case, I might not know about the existence of these stringencies and might think that these men were simply being rude. Wouldn’t that be a chilul hashem?