This article speaks volumes about what our schools have become. It is always disturbing to hear these stories, and they are unfortunately not rare. However, as long as yeshivos consider themselves competitors in a market, and not a public service, the arrangement for such tragedies is guaranteed.
Just few years ago, Reb Shlomo Yehuda Rechnitz addressed this in public. It caused a furor. How could anyone dare to challenge the status quo of how yeshivos maintain quality? But he got a pass, because he has money. You or I would be expelled from every beis hamedrash and shul, and our kids from their respective yeshivos. But truth hurts. The problem is not a fabrication, and there are live victims all the time.
Denying fact is plainly foolish, and I would assume that most people who are proud of their intellect will not do that. I do suggest that many are the victims of �spin�, quite similar to the pattern of the secular mainstream media. Words that sound good are used to obfuscate truth. The child that is no longer here cannot be restored to life and a school. Or to quote Hillary, �What difference, at this point, does it make?� Perhaps, if we examined the issues that enable this to happen, we can learn something about prevention. But it is not about an individual or a particular school. It is about a system.
So I ask the following pointed questions:
Does any yeshiva feel any sense of responsibility to insure that every Jewish child receive a Jewish education?
How was the calculation of the child’s emotional reaction to expulsion or rejection made? Was any outside professional (mental health professional or Rav) consulted?
Since when do other parents become baalei batim over a school?
Why is anyone playing the game of choosing one child over another?
Does anyone really know who is the better child, or is there a game of Ruach Hakodesh being played by amateurs?
Is the role of our yeshivos academic excellence or is it raising a Jewish child to live a Torah life? If the latter, what is the point of competition?
We know what the real answers should be, but we also know what they are. These questions go to the core issues. Sadly, the answers speak to the kavod and reputation of the institution without prioritizing the talmid. Such has evolved into today’s yeshivos. And the tragedy preceded the suicide by many years. Or maybe we should refer to this loss as a murder?
Before anyone wishes to bash me for daring to utter such things, please review the growing number of seforim on chinuch habonim, where Gedolei Yisroel made these points. I could relate countless stories of situations in which Gedolei Yisroel prohibited this practice of selectivity, and were moseir nefesh to prevent rejection. The viral video clip of Rav Shteinman shlit�a referring to this selectivity as ????, is just one example.
The Gemora (Nedarim 81a) tells us ????? ???? ????? ???? ??? ????. Be careful with the children of the poor because Torah will come from them. Simple pshat would be a warning to us to resist our tendency to predict where Torah will be found. Do we really believe the A student will fare better than the poorer performer with motivation?
This awful story with a tragic ending is not about Lakewood. Nor is it about a girls school. It is about every yeshiva, girls or boys, in E”Y and America. And the horrible endings vary as well. But there is blood, and the responsible parties all consider themselves innocent, even tzaddikim.
It is rare that a child is a true rodeif. Rather, the menahel that throws the kid to the streets is. Our world is upside down, and the beneficiary is the chevra kadisha. How many more levayos will occur before someone wakes up?