It’s pretty common even for proudly Modern Orthodox people to say stuff like “we aren’t ‘frum,’ we’re more modern,” or “we think that community is to frummy; we would like a more modern community.”
I know from another thread you had some experience in a Chabad school; I only say this because it might be worth pointing out that Chabad’s yiddish colloquialisms differ a little from those of others. Eg. they use frum to mean any level of religiosity while most people use it as the yiddish word for chareidi, they use heimish in somewhat of a negative connotation while most people use it in a positive way, etc.
As for the hostility, yeah, welcome to the internet. I started out here occasionally trying to get people to be more “civil,” but eventually I gave up and I’m kind of embarrassed that I ever did that. In retrospect, it comes across as preachy. It’s more fun to just be a jerk who hides behind internet anonymity.