@CTL: I agree and disagree with you. I agree that making a lavish wedding is a waste. It would also be nice if our children would share our values with which we try to raise them. However that is not always the case.
Consider a family in which the main breadwinner decided to go into chinuch instead of a more lucrative career. The intentions were noble and idealistic. Sometimes children grow up with the same idealistic values and appreciate the life choice that their parents made but sometimes they grow up resenting it wishing they could be like their wealthy peers. It is not enough to say to them “but that is not how we raised you!”.
This does not mean that we need to spoil our children so that they don’t feel underprivileged. However it is a tricky balance.