AAQ:
Ohn be peles was a pretty earnest guy. But he would have died with the rest of Korach’s people had his wife not saved him. Don’t be so sure that you can “carefully study…both sides” and be sure that you can then decide what you want.
Unlike in “Modern Orthodoxy, where rabbis are consulted only for what the laymen consider to be “halakhic” questions, in actual Judaism, we have a concept called mesorah. We also have an obligation to “make for yourself a rav” who follows that mesorah. So, when in doubt, particularly when dealing with severe prohibitions like this, one is obligated to ask a competent Rav.