al pi my hagada, children have a say. I always stop before ma nishtana with an awkward pause, saying I can’t continue .. until I have questions.
The question mode might relate to the halakha that a child is not supposed to correct his father, but rather ask him – doesn’t the Torah say this?
So, maybe we are modeling to children how they should express themselves, and not presume they, and their printed divrei Torah, are the answers.
R Twersky writes that one thing he does not understand in life is – people, mostly, become wiser with years. At the same time, we are making the most important decisions – haskhafa, job, marriage – when we are young. He says he doesn’t understand how Hashem made the world this way. The only solution is for young people to take input from older people when making those decisions.
So, maybe the goal of teaching children to ask rather than to recite is to develop tis ability to ask for advice when they’ll need it. So, maybe this is the problem with schooling – kids are constantly doing some obscure specialized tasks where they do not need help from parents/mature adults. This conditions them to not seek advice when needed.