I’m not going to get into what Israel has done in terms of aborting babies. That quite frankly has nothing to do with it. IDF service is a government policy and legal issue. Charedim are in the govermnent and play a major role, therefore the policy and law concerns then.
I lived in Bnei Brak for several years and also saw their lifestyle close up. What I saw was clearly very different from what you saw. They can serve.