ujm, I don’t think that was helpful. Even if the original poster’s clothing is not tznius (which isn’t clear to me from the letter), how does gossiping about her help? It’s especially inappropriate for men to be discussing the way she dresses; in fact, I’d call that pritzus.
To the letter writer:
I’m sorry you are in such a difficult situation. Sometimes people are just nasty to those who are different. I used to live in a smaller frum community where many people judged me because of my job. I held a regular white-collar job, and dressed much like the other women in my community (the only difference was that my clothes were older & I couldn’t afford a shaitel), but because I wasn’t a teacher or nurse or secretary (all perfectly honorable jobs that happened not to suit my situation) I was criticized & insulted. People didn’t care that my husband was attending school at that time & earning little or no income.
I’d never been the sort of person to tell other people how to live their lives, or to discuss other people, mostly because I’m trying to live my own life as well as I can. However, being at the receiving end of so much criticism has made me less likely to judge other people, even to myself. Now B”H I live in another larger community; I don’t work outside the home now, but my friends wouldn’t judge me if I did.
I didn’t mean to hijack this just to talk about myself, but rather to say that I really sympathize with your situation. I also wanted to add that your community may not be as homogeneous as it seems. It may be possible to find friends who won’t judge you by your clothes. If you have young children, you may be able to meet other people at the park or a children’s museum. If you don’t, a chessed group may be a good way to find friends.