Joseph,
1> If the wife stays hom, and the husband is in kolel, how do they eat and pay tuition?
2> The mother staying home, as mine did, is, I agree the ideal. I have good friends in Flatbush who wanted to the wife to stay home. However, to d oso, they needed a scolarship because the husband is a civil servant . The yeshiva ( not MO ) told them that the should get a job, no tuition assistance.