aries2756:
“I usually think it is not by business and don’t jump to conclusions. My best suggestion is to stay out of it. Whether they are inappropriate or not, mixing in is also inappropriate.”
I believe this whole “mind your own business” attitude has its roots solely in the permissive secular culture around us, and is not at all how the Torah would have us think. The Torah tells us “Kol Yisroel arevim zeh la’zeh” – “All of [Klal] Yisroel is responsible for each other”. Just like we must rescue a fellow Jew from physical or emotional harm, we must do our best to rescue them from spiritual harm as well.
Furthermore, the Torah tells us “hochaich tocheeach es amisecha” – “rebuke you shall rebuke my people”. We have a direct commandment – if you see something, say something. (Obviously this must be done in a way that will be effective and not just push the person further away, but it must be done nonetheless.) The passuk continues (“rebuke you shall rebuke my people,”) “v’lo sisa aluv chait” – “and you will not bear a sin”. However, if one could have stopped somebody from doing an aveirah but did not, they will have to give a din vi’cheshbon for it.
“The usual rule of thumb is if someone is doing something inappropriate in public they don’t care what other people think, so getting involved and mixing in will not help the situation.”
Not necessarily; the person simply may not realize what they’re doing is wrong. If somebody explains to them in a calm, polite way why what they’re doing is wrong, they may very well stop doing it.
“Giving tochecha to someone who doesn’t want to hear it and will not accept it is pointless and therefor only makes it worse so you are not allowed to do it.”
100% true. However, I don’t think we should always just assume that the person will take (correctly-given) mussar the wrong way.
“So maybe you jumped to conclusions and there is a viable explanation for what you saw or think you saw.”
Then the person will explain why they were doing what they were doing and (assuming that you were nice and polite) no harm done.
(PS – Please note that these are all calm, rational arguments about the issues that you have brought up. There is nothing here even vaguely reminiscent of a personal attack. Please, please let’s not have another wave of hysteria and accusations. Let’s stick to the issues, shall we?)