What these geniuses (sorry) don’t understand is this. When children grow up, they will have the right to choose for themselves (after many years of watching, listening and learning) who they think and have learned is a good or better parent. AND (and this is a big AND) who they think was right and wrong in the entire fiasco. AND that has nothing to do with what the judge said, it has to do with the conduct of the parents before and after the divorce. So it matters little who “won” in court. I what really matters is the truth and what happened before and after the court hearings. The parent who berates the other parent and makes it difficult for the children to see them will be the one who loses out in the end. Because when the children are grown and are of adult age and get to choose who they want to spend time with and get to enforce their legal rights, they will decide for themselves where their true loyalties lie, either with one or the other or both.
Once a child is of age, one parent or the other cannot make those decisions for them. They can try and bribe them or control them with money, but they can’t force them to do what they want them to do. They can pretend to listen but they can borrow a friend’s phone if they choose and make as many calls to the other parent as they choose or make arrangements to meet them at a neutral location. The parent that makes the other parent out to be the villain will eventually lose the trust and love they tried so desperately to gain in the first place.
So a parent can only “win” for the shortest amount of time in the child’s life. Once the child becomes of legal age it will be his or her choice where to go from there.