I wouldn’t say that a circumstance calls for a new outlook as much as a new application of the old outlook.
The Gemara talks about people getting married and then going off to learn. That is worse than Kollel.
Rejection of secular education is very, very old. Finding a particular Sefer that trumpets a certain thing and saying that this is your way, is not called following a Mesora. It is the downside of Torah Sheb’al Peh being written.
American Chareidim have no issue with learning secular (non-Apikursus) topics, while we associate with the Israeli Chareidim who are different from us. This is an example of different situations requiring different applications of the same Shita. What we won’t find in any of the most open-minded Rishonim, is the merit and requirement to study Avoda Zara and Apikursus, especially before Milo Kreiso Beshaas Uposkim.
The Kesubah is not an Halacha Sefer. It is an agreement. The ultimate responsibility for Parnassa never changed hands. When push comes to shove the man gets a job. Actually, we live in a society where most women work. So, what exactly bothers you about somebody’s personal arrangement.